Core values are a very important part of living your life. But, if you’re a mom who wants to live her life beyond “just” motherhood, having core values as a mom will help guide you and make your path feel a lot more clear.
What are Core Values?
Core values are the fundamental beliefs and guiding principles that shape how you live your life, make decisions, and interact with others. They are deeply personal and influence everything from your parenting style to how you spend your time and energy.
When you become a mother, your core values may change. But, it’s important to know what those core values are as you navigate life as a mother. Remember, you aren’t changing your title, you’re adding one more to your existing titles. Don’t let this scare you.
Why do we need Core Values?
Core Values are important to have because they help shape the decisions you make in life. They’re especially important for women who are moms because we make so many decisions for ourselves and for other people. Having core values is almost like having a compass to help guide you to the decision that best represents how you want to live your life.
They’re important for moms also because as mothers, especially in this society, we are fed so many expectations, much of which are unrealistic. Figuring out your core values as a mother will help you stay true to yourself and spend less time worrying about what society wants you to do or believe.
Having Core Values also helps you assess when you’re feeling mom guilt. Is the guilt coming from not following your Core Values or is it coming from what society wants your core values to be? This is a very important distinction!
How to create your Core Values list
There is no hard-set list of core values in life. Here are 3 different ways to create your own core values list:
- Guided list approach – Search for a list of core values on the internet. I’ve also created one for you below. Go through the list and circle what’s important to you and add anything you think of while reading.
- Free writing approach: Get out a piece of paper and pen and just write. Make it a word web if that’s your jam. Write sentences, phrases, words, etc. Read over them and find some reoccurring themes.
- Scenario approach: Ask yourself questions about how you want to live your life as a mother and what you want to instill in your children. How do you want your children to live their lives? What brings you the most joy? What doesn’t light you up? What annoys you? (explore this – is it because it’s preventing you from living one of more of your core values?) Where does your time and energy naturally go? Are you happy with that?
Once you’ve created a list of core values, highlight/circle your top 5 – they don’t have to be in any specific order.
Most importantly, do not overthink this. What you want should come naturally and easily for you.
Core Values examples for moms
Some examples of core values for moms include:
- Connection
- Respect
- Kindness
- Honesty
- Stability
- Traditions
- Independence
- Learning
- Creativity
- Adventure
- Authenticity
- Real self-care
- Patience
- Playfulness
- Open-mindedness
- Structure
- Flexibility
- Responsibility
- Ambition
- Financial stability
- Balance
- Service to others
- Fulfillment
- Simplicity
- Peace
- Boundaries
- Resilience
- Humor
- Mindfulness
- Gratitude
How do you apply your Core Values?
Once you have your list of top 5 Core Values, write them down and put them in places where you can see them – at your desk, on your bedside, on the wallpaper of your phone, in a cabinet. Read them each time you see them so they really get engrained in your mind. It would be a good habit to read them every night before you go to bed and have it be the first thing you do in the morning. Yes, even before you grab for your phone!
Think about the values and where you want them to show up for you in your life. For example, if you say playfulness, do you want that in your friendships, relationships, interaction with your kids, all of the above?
You also use your Core Values to create boundaries in life and in your relationships. Knowing what you want out of life and what you want to focus on will help you create and hold those boundaries with other people and yourself.
Using your Core Values can also help you find your “me time” activities. Keep into consideration what you want to accomplish and find what makes you happy. For example, if you want calmness, reach out to an animal shelter and donate your time to the cats. I have a friend who does this and you can see her face light up when she’s with those felines!
Core Values tips
- You can change your core values. It’s probably a good idea to reassess them every few months to make sure they’re realistic and you’re on the right track.
- Just because you didn’t choose a value, doesn’t mean it isn’t important to you.
- Don’t overthink it. The values that are important to you will jump out at you first.
I would love for you to head over to Instagram and let me know what your top 5 core values are in your life as a mom. Come find me! @mostlyundercontrol on Instagram.
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